Maybe This Time
by yourdirtylittlesecret
Summary: Bella's left the only world she has know the past five years behind her. How will she cope with the difficult events of learning to find herself and be the person she once was.
1. Breakeven

**A/N First I would like to appologise to everyone who had read my other story. After a couple of hard months between University and work I barely had time to sleep let alone write. When i did get round to looking at the possibility of updating i found i didn't like what i had done, so i have decided to delete it from fan fiction and maybe eventually go back to it another time. However i had this bouncing round my head for a while and decided to try writing a different story that i feel i have a bit more passion for. Again have a read and give me a review. Either tell me you like it or it's a pile a rubbish and i should never try and write again, either way let me know what you think! **

**So without further ado here is my first chapter...enjoy your read!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my car!**

Breakeven

_"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, just praying to a god that I don't believe in, Cause i've got time while she's got freedom, Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even."- _The Script, Breakeven.

Adrenaline rush according to Wikipedia refers to an activity of the adrenal gland in a fight-or-flight response; this was what i was experiencing right now. To fight or to flight, which one do you choose? I suppose it depends on the situation, how do you know which is the best course of action to take? Do you fight for your life? Or do you flee? I believe in this circumstance i am experiencing both; fighting for my life by fleeing.

I was 20 hours into my journey, only 4 more till i reached my destination; Seattle. My breathing was still increasing, my skin was cold and clammy and i had a severe case of the jitters and despite the lack of sleep i still could see more clearly then on a normal day. All these factors lead me to believe i was still experiencing that adrenaline rush. I had expected that being so far from my home in Phoenix by now the effects would wear off but when it's not only your life that is in danger but the life of another the experience is increased.

I checked the rear view mirror to see if i was being followed, i couldn't chance being pulled over by the police now, it would get back to him and i knew he would come after me. Hell he still could but i was praying to a god that he wouldn't bother, that i wasn't worth it. I sighed heavily when i found that the road behind me was clear, there was not a soul out tonight and i didn't expect so at one in the morning. I glanced again into the rear view mirror, this time settling my gaze upon the back seat of my car and was happy to see he was still asleep, curled up in his car seat with his favourite blanket was my three year old son Corey.

I don't recommend taking a long car journey with a three year old, they tend to become easily agitated and restless which proves to be exhausting for the remaining passengers but i had no other option, again back to the fight or flight response. If it wasn't for my little man i would have given up quickly, letting my body and mind succumb to the pain i currently wasn't feeling. But it also ment i had to stop every so often to let him go to the bathroom and to eat and drink, so with me being the only caretaker i had to stop. I didn't want to eat so i didn't but i knew i had to drink which ment in turn i had to stop and use the bathroom as well. At first i had stopped at designated stations along the route but i quickly became paranoid that someone would recognise us and people love to stare, men were checking me out and women were disgusted with me obviously thinking i had allowed something so terrible to happen.

You see, my little man had gained a large and quite ugly bruise on the left side of his face, making his face painful to not only touch but to look at as well. His eye was swollen shut and his lips puffy. I knew that they were all thinking that i was a terrible mother to allow my child to end up like that but i never expected him to become involved. He matched my own injury's; i had a cut along my eyebrow that was bleeding quite heavily earlier on which subsequently cause my top to be coated in dried blood now, a black eye, a busted lip, bruised well more likely broken ribs and a possible broken wrist to match.

So this was where the adrenaline was doing its job, i was able to keep going without so much as a hint of pain to make sure my little man was safe from harm, as soon as i know he is safe i will probably be pulled under from the force of it all hitting me, i can almost guarantee that it will be a lot worse than from when i actually sustained each ailment.

I looked over at the clock on the dashboard and noticed i was only another two hours from Seattle. It was the only place i knew i could protect my son, my brother lived there with his fiancé who i hadn't yet met, i knew he was going to be mad at me for just turning up, hell i would be too if he just turned up on my doorstep without so much as a phone call in the last two years. That was one of the things i was never allowed to do, so many times i had been caught dialling my brothers number into the phone or setting up an email just so he knew that i was still alive. But i was always caught somehow, then was shown how badly i had disrespected him in his own home. If only i had been able to contact my brother, telling him that i was still alive but i was also barely breathing, then the recent event might never have happened. After a year the phone calls and the emails i received from my brother, which were also replied to by him stopped arriving, i knew that he was giving up and i felt terrible that i wasn't able to show my support when he landed his big contract with the Seahawks. That's right my brother was a linebacker for the Seattle Seahawks and i have never been prouder, the only chance i had to see him was when he played against the Arizona Cardinals.

Another hour had flown by along with the highway and i was trying to remember all the details i had stored to memory about my brother over the last two years, it was only due to an interview with him post game that i knew he had gotten engaged, i still remember that with great clarity; the look on his face when he told the press could only be described as sheer delight to anyone who didn't know him on a personal level, but when i looked into his eyes through the television screen i could see they were not shining as bright as they could be and i was to blame. I know what you're thinking and to be honest i have thought the same; why didn't i try harder to get in touch, but when you have every bone in your hand threatened to be crushed the thought just dies away along with all the others.

I was pulled from my head by the bright lights of a car behind me, i sucked in a small amount of air and held my breath as it gained closer to my car. Could it be him? Has he already managed to get to me? The car was right behind me now but the lights were so bright that i couldn't make out the colour or the make of it, suddenly the owner of the car revved its engine and pulled out along side my and accelerated past leaving me in a cloud of dust that was left behind in its wake. I let out the air i had been holding but my body was back in its tense position. The noise from the car had stirred my little man and i could hear him groan as he tried to stretch out his small body, i lifted my eyes from the road to look into the rear view mirror to see him yawn which caused him to whimper and in turn solidified the crack in my heart. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and tried to turn his plump little lips into a smile but was more like a grimace.

"Are we there yet mamma?"

"Not long now baby" i replied. He turned to look out the window, watching the bright lights of Seattle rush by with every mile that i continued on.

Twenty minutes later i turned onto the street that held my brothers house, i looked on in awe at the size of each of the homes that passed me on both sides, the early morning darkness making it difficult to read the numbers of each house, but there on the left was the one i was looking for. I had made it, i was safe, Corey was safe, i could feel my blood rushing through my veins as it released another surge of andrenaline to go along with the butterfly's in my stomach. I was so fucking nervous, but i was here and that was all that mattered, i signalled to turn onto the drive and settled to a stop behind a huge Jeep. I turned off the engine and the lights and just sat there taking in my surroundings, the house was huge, white stone walls with beautiful blue window panes, a surge of pride filled my chest when i saw what my brother had achieved. I was pulled from my daze by my little man;

"Momma?"

I turned to look at him and even in the dark noticed that the swelling of his face has gotten slightly worse, it must have hurt so much but he was being so brave. I noticed his eyes were filled with fear and i didn't blame him at all, we were in a foreign place, somewhere he had never been and after the events of the previous 30 hours i knew he must be scared. I climbed out of the car cautiously knowing my whole body was going to ache and had to immediately grab onto the side of the car to steady myself, i could feel the protest of my wrist and ribs as i did so and knew it wasn't long before the pain would wash over me. 'Only a few more minutes' i kept chanting to myself, once my legs had stopped shaking i rounded the car to get to my son, pulling the door open i leaned in to undo his restraints and helped him from the car and grasped his hand in mine. Shutting the car door i turned to face him looking down into his expectant eyes;

"We are here baby. Everything is going to be ok, you're safe now".

He nodded slightly in return as i faced the large house in front of us. With carefully measured steps i made my way to the front door which had a large knocker of the front and a button for a bell on the side. I stared at the bell for a moment trying to gain the confidence in me to raise my hand and press that little button. I could feel it taunting me and i knew that i would never gain the confidence but i had to do it i realised as i glanced at Corey, if not for me then definitely for him. I lifted my hand and pressed the little button and heard the ring of the bell echoing through the quiet house, i started to feel my body shake as a light in the hallway was switched on, the sound of footsteps bouncing of the stairs as someone made their descent. The latch of the door was slide back and the sound of the lock being turned seemed to be louder than normal, the door was pulled open by a very unimpressed woman, who in her dishevelled state still seemed to look like a supermodel. The scowl on her face evident for a person who had been rudely woken at 5am, her eyes widened as she took in my injured state before darting towards my son. I sucked in a breath and proceeded to speak;

"Does Emmett Swan live here?"


	2. I Miss You

**A/N So thanks to those who read and reviewed! Muchos thanks! Here's the second chapter for you all!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my iphone!**

I Miss you

_"Where are you and I'm so sorry_  
_I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight_  
_I need somebody and always_  
_This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting every time_  
_And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders_  
_catching things and eating their insides_  
_Like indecision to call you_  
_And hear your voice of treason_  
_Will you come home and stop this pain tonight_  
_stop this pain tonight_

_Don't waste your time on me your already the voice inside my head, I miss you miss you"- _Blink 182

**Emmett's POV**

"Emmett take him down" I heard my coach say, I knew what I should be doing but I couldn't find it in me to care today. I was tired; I'd been doing the same play over and over for the past five hours trying to perfect the run ready for this weekend's game. Normally I was the one to get the rest of the guys in the right frame of mind, to encourage them to become more adventurous in their tackles, but today my mind was elsewhere. It was early November and only six months till my wedding to my sexy fiancée Rosie. Mostly all of the people we had invited had replied except for the one I was most anticipating; my sister.

When we were younger we were close, even though I was two years older than her I still included her in all my activities. I suppose it was because she never really had any friends, not that she minded much, she always preferred to read her books then to make small talk with others. I loved my family, they meant to world to me; my dad; Charlie, was the police chef of the town we were raised in; Folks, and my mother was his high school sweetheart, who worked in a florist. They didn't have much money but we always managed to struggle by. My parents had us both young, which my mother always regretted as she felt she was never really allowed to live her life, not that she ever regretted having us it was just that she always had hope to have more of a life before settling down. My dad on the other had been happy; he had want he always wanted; a family and a good job to be able to support us. We coped between us to provide love and support in whatever we wanted to do but things changed after one Halloween night in my senior year.

My father and Mother had attended a party down in La Push while my sister and I had spent the evening scaring ourselves with the latest horror film. It wasn't until we received a phone call from the hospital that our lives were to turn upside down. My father's car was hit by a drunk driver which in turn caused my parents car to overturn and had caused our parents to die. Being the oldest I took on the responsibilities to care for my sister even though I was still at school myself. But being 18 I was able to become her guardian along with the request that my father had made in his will. I knew that he wouldn't want for us to be split apart so he requested for me to look after my sister. We managed as well as we could with the little cash that we both brought in from our part time jobs and the grief that surrounded us. I knew she took it hard and struggled to keep her shit together, but she never expressed how she was actually feeling.

Once I completed high school, I decided to stay close to home and attend the University of Washington. It helped me keep an eye on my sister, which really I didn't have to. She was still the model student; managing to accelerate in all her classes and passing her exams at the top of her class. It wasn't long after then that I was offered a contract to play in the NFL and I jumped at the chance, along with the support of my sister I moved away to California. I was really nervous about leaving her on her own but my father's friend and his son kept an eye on her and I knew that she was safe and was happy and that was what mattered to me most; that she was not alone. Not only two years later she informed me she was getting married and another year later she was pregnant. I was happy for her as she seemed to be ecstatic with the outcome of the past few years.

She moved away after she had her son; went to phoenix to where her husband had accepted a job as a car mechanic. That was the last time I really heard from her. I tried to keep in contact, to tell her of my life; to tell her that I had found love, and to find out about hers, but every time I did I was met with the voice of her husband.

"She is busy at the moment. Do you want me to pass on a message?" Was the same reply I always received from him. After many months and getting the same response I realised she had moved on with her life and didn't need me to protect her any more. It still hurt when she couldn't even find the time to reply when I had some great news to tell her. I didn't even know if she had any more kids or if she had managed to find a career for herself. I wanted to tell her I had gotten a fantastic opportunity as the Seattle Seahawk's linebacker or that I had gotten engaged to the most beautiful girl in the world. Even now I'm still as indecisive as always on what to do and if I should continue to try and contact her but it hurt every time she couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone herself instead of getting him to do it for her.

Rosie was my rock; I had met her during a post game party when she had arrived on the arm of a fellow team mate. But she caught my eye and I felt a pull to her that I couldn't explain. During that night we spent most of our time together, talking about anything and everything; things that wouldn't make sense to others but did to us. Luckily for me a few months later my team mate lost interest in her; she wasn't what he wanted; arm candy. She was anything but, yes she may look like a typical blonde bimbo but she was intelligent, knew her own mind, and was passionate about her dreams and to top it all off she was every guy's wet dream. A year later on our anniversary I proposed and she said yes. I was the happiest I had been in a long while, but still that was tainted by the fact that I couldn't tell my sister about us.

Practice was over now and I was on my way home, normally I would head out with a few of the guys after as Rosie wouldn't be home yet but my head was still stuck on my sister and I didn't feel like having to keep up the pretence of being happy when today I really wasn't. I decided to surprise my girl with a lovely home cooked meal; I knew that would raise my spirits somewhat, so with that in mind I headed to the grocery store.

An hour and a half later I arrived at home, my arms full of bags with different items to make Rose her favourite meal. Once I had unpacked everything onto the counter I set to work, I was really grateful some days that my mother and father could not make a decent meal to save their lives. I spent my meals of my youth grimacing as I swallowed the barely edible food, so between my sister and I we took on the role of feeding the family, granted my sister was better than me but I could cook a mean steak and how hard is it to boil some potatoes and throw together a salad?

Rosie walked through the door just as I had lit the candles on the table; I heard her heels clicking on the floor as she made her way through the house to where I was in the dining room. As she rounded the corner she came to an abrupt stop and stared at the scene before her. I had decorated the table with a range of candles and rose's to creative a soft glow through the room.

"What's all this in aid of baby?" she asked me. I just shrugged and replied with "Just want to show you how much I love and appreciate you". She smiled at me and came round the table to give me a hug and a long drawn out kiss that had my heart racing by the end of it. I pulled away from her lips slowly placing a few pecks to finish and smiled down at her;

"Dinner will be right out so get comfy", I released her from my arms and headed towards the kitchen.

After filling ourselves to the brim we ended up on the couch watching a film all snuggled up. I was quite content to just sit here for the rest of the evening with my girl and soon found myself drifting off into la la land. I felt like I hadn't been asleep long before Rose shook me awake so we could make our way upstairs to bed, I lifted myself from the couch and dragged my sleep heavy body up the stairs behind her; turning of all the lights on my way. The moment I hit the bed I pulled Rose into my side and was out like a light.

Sometime later I felt the bed move as Rosie was trying to untangle herself from me, "Where you going?" I asked glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

"Someone is at the door Em, I'm going to kill whoever it is, and it's five in the god damn morning".

I muttered something unintelligible and turned over to go back to sleep, I was finding it hard to drift back off without Rosie by my side, I glanced back at the clock and realised that she had been gone about ten minutes, I quickly rushed out of bed and threw on some trousers; my mind going 100 miles an hour as thoughts of what might of happened to her were rushing through. I practically ran down the stairs calling out her name when there she was stood at the front door, I breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was alright which was quickly replaced by a gasp as she turned to me while tear filled eyes and her bottom lip quivering trying to hold in a sob, I made to move towards her as she slowly moved to one side and was stopped in my tracks at what I saw behind her.

"B?"


End file.
